Why are ghosts here?
There are a number of different theories so today we'll look at some of the most popular ones.
A spirit doesn't know it's dead — there are some who believe that when life ends suddenly and unexpectedly, the spirit is not ready to accept death and therefore it remains here. I suppose this is a possibility as a sudden death can be a huge shock to the system but it is my personal opinion that if a spirit was suddenly separated from its body, I think it would know it. It probably wouldn't like it, but it would get the message pretty quickly.
The most popular belief is that a spirit remains behind because there is something it needs to do. For instance, saying goodbye. My first experience as I wrote in the blog last week came with my paternal grandmother appearing to me a couple weeks after she died suddenly. There had been no chance to say goodbye and I believe she appeared to us in order to do that because none of us ever saw her again. Also the calls we get at CMPS as well as Holistic Healing are often people whose loved one has recently died and they have seen them, however briefly. Usually I will find out the circumstances of the death and in many cases it is that their loved one died suddenly and so probably did come to just say goodbye and let them know their loved one was okay. We also get calls from people who see their loved one numerous times after death, and most of the time they report that their loved one looked upset or sad. Our grief, especially deep, heartbreaking grief, can hold our loved ones here. They want to cross over, but our love and pain holds them. Once we are able to release them, assure them that we will be okay and it is alright for them to leave, the spirit will move on. Sometimes people are able to do this, at others, they come to Holistic Healing for help with grief counseling.
The same thing happens when someone we love is dying. Often they try to hold on for us, to make certain that we will be okay, but that holding on is exhausting to them. It is important that we tell our loved one that we will be alright and that it is okay for them to go. This happened to my mother and I when my maternal grandmother was dying. She was struggling so hard to stay for so many days. I was alone by her bedside. I stroked her forehead, telling her I loved her, that we all would be okay and it was time for her to rest now, that it was okay for her to go. My mother came in the room and I thought she would certainly tell me to stop talking that way. Instead, she went to her mother, stroked her forehead and told her that she would miss her, that she loved her, but it was time for her to rest, it was okay for her to go. My grandmother, who had been very restless up to that point, became very calm and she passed away peacefully within two hours after our visit.
Words and love are very powerful whether it comes to the living, the dying or the dead. We need to be able to release those we love to cross over. Our own deep feelings of regret concerning things we should have said, should have done can hold our loved ones here. The most loving thing we can do is release them and let them go.
Doing so doesn't always mean that they won't come back for a visit. Not all spirits, once they have crossed over, will come back though they have the ability to do so. Every once in a while I will smell the strong scent of a cigarette in my home where no one smokes and never has — to me that is a sign that my grandmother has come in for a visit. I also find that sometimes things will disappear from a location where they had been forever. I will call out "Come on Grandma!" and shortly thereafter the item will reappear. My grandmother did have a sense of humor!
Chuck, in his comment, noted that we may see ghosts more frequently at Halloween because we are open to them, looking for them and expecting to see them. It is also believed that at Halloween, which began as a time of praying for, communicating with and welcoming the dead, the veil between the world of the living and the dead is the thinnest. Spirits are supposed to be able to pass through easily and make their presence known.
It also believed that some spirits are here and trying to communicate with us because they want us to do something for them. There is something they need done before they cross over and they need us to help them. These spirits are the ones who make the most noise and most often appear as they try to get our attention so they can tell us what they need. Often a psychic medium needs to be called in on such cases if you can't figure it out or understand the communication.
The last reason it is believed that a spirit is here, is they like being here, they have no desire to cross over and no matter what we do, they never will. Often it is this type of ghost that people see and experience most often. I don't know what the appeal is to stay here, but stay they do.
Next week we'll discuss what type of ghosts there are and how they manifest or communicate with us.
In the meantime, I hope you'll post your comments, thoughts and any questions you may have.