The church and GLBTQ folk
I was asked yesterday to participate in a live Huffington Post chat about Christianity and LGBTQ youth. The starting point was an article posted by one of its authors: "What if kids had a church that loved them?"
I can relate. I always knew that I was different. By the time I was 13 I knew I "liked boys." But the one place that gave me hope, the one place I loved to go - the Church - was the place where I very quickly discovered I was NOT welcome. As time went on, I learned how to navigate certain Sundays when particular Scripture passages lent themselves to an "anti gay" sermon. I would either peruse my hymnal or drift away into prayer. I loved God and the church too much to put either of them aside. I also knew who I was and I knew I could not change, and more importantly, there was no reason for me to change. God loved me and created me gay - just like he created others straight. God loves all God's children. That is who God is.
I stayed in the church and many years later in 2011, after graduating from Yale Divinity School, I became an ordained minister. While I stayed - others left. Most of my friends (straight & queer) have left the church while it was still homophobic and intolerant. They often said that the church pushed them away and on some level they are right.
By remaining in the church it has allowed me to see how much “she” has changed. My denomination, the United Church of Christ, has over 1100 congregations that are "Open & Affirming". That term signifies that the church and its congregation are fully and enthusiastically welcoming LGBTQ folks and their families. Many more, like the congregation I serve in Marlborough have welcomed me, an openly gay minister to serve its people, and to celebrate same-sex marriages.
My seminary friend and fellow UCC pastor Rev. Oby Ballinger is one of the leaders to push for marriage equality in Minnesota. In the past years the Episcopal Church, the Presbyterian Church USA, and the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) have all changed their positions on homosexuality, gay marriage and openly gay clergy. Many people in the pews have changed too, but not all of them. It is hard to change when you don't know anyone who is LGBTQ. I still have some members who will disagree with me passionately but over time we have built mutual respect for each other. Not all members of a church believe the same or have the same thought but they are all hoping for the same thing: the love and mercy of God for all.
So the reason why I am writing this blog entry is to urge all LGBTQ and their allies to come (back) to church. Last week I talked with an openly gay man in the "borough" who told me that "he can't come to church because no church will accept me for who I am." He was wrong - just in the Marlborough-Hudson area alone you will find at least four congregations that are welcoming. The church has changed and she continues to change. We welcome all God's children no matter where they are on life's journey.
It is hard to be LGBTQ at times just as it is hard to be straight at times too. Generally, life is hard for all at one point or another. And with all her imperfections the Church is here for all: for those who struggle, and those whose yoke is easy; for those who rejoice, and for those who mourn; for gays and for straights, for conservatives and for liberals - for all. The church is the only entity in the world which exists for the benefit of those outside her.
So, I ask you - come (back) to church. Check her out. I can promise you that we are far from perfect but we will love you just the way you are.
Alexis Fallon
6:05 pm on Friday, March 1, 2013
To those who have already made up their minds that Christianity does not have a place for them, Pastor Kaz asks you to reconsider. Christ is Love. Period. GLBTQ community who has experienced the pain inflicted by intolerance in guise of religion with wounds may be fresh or with scars that still may sting, Pastor Kaz has done the hard work to create a place for you. He has through his personal struggles found a solid home in Christianity and he has paved a new road that includes him and he wishes now to include you. He has personally placed his shoulder to the plow so that you may have an opportunity to experience acceptance and love within the Christian traditions. This alone deserves your respect and this alone deserves a second look at the traditions that you walked away from when you first did not find a home. Perhaps you will only come to one Sunday sermon of Pastor Kaz perhaps you may go to the spaghetti night, in whatever way that you come know that you support a man who with complete dedication did not walk away from Christ God but sought to make his place in this community so others may follow.
jaymike
2:05 pm on Saturday, March 2, 2013
"Pastor Kaz has done the hard work to create a place for you."
Quite to the contrary, it looks like Pastor Kaz has chosen the easy path by inviting people to come and live as they please. What is hard about that? Jesus and his Apostles called people to come, turn from sin, and strive to live holy lives. That is the hard path.
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." (Matthew 7:13) Those are Jesus' words not mine and it seems Jesus and Pastor Kaz are not on the same page.
jaymike
7:20 pm on Friday, March 1, 2013
“The Church - was the place where I very quickly discovered I was NOT welcome … Most of my friends have left the church while it was still homophobic and intolerant.”
How exactly did the church make you feel unwelcome? What exactly do you mean by homophobic and intolerant?
Kazimierz Bem
9:13 pm on Saturday, March 2, 2013
I was away and could not answer your first post, but noticed that you did it for me, better than I could ever hope for.
"Jesus and Pastor Kaz are not on the same page" Really? He told you so? How: sent you an email, left a voicemail or wrote on your Facebook wall. You seem so sure - please tell me how. I would love to know! And please don't quote Scripture - it was not meant as a baseball bat to hit everyone you despise and to excuse your prejudices.
"Pastor Kaz has chosen the easy path by inviting people to come and live as they please." How easily you know and judge others and their hearts! That is so "biblical" and "faithful to the Gospel" isn't it?
But its exactly comments like those - which drove so many out of churches. Thank you for making my point so lucidly and poignantly.
jaymike
11:13 pm on Saturday, March 2, 2013
“How easily you know and judge others and their hearts!”
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. You are the one who has used hateful rhetoric and disparaging labels while claiming me to be offensive merely because I quoted Scripture to point out your anti-Christian theology.
Think about it. Jesus quoted Scripture when confronting leaders who had lost their way. The Apostles followed his lead and routinely quoted Scripture as well. Yet you find offense in me for pointing to God’s Word, the very spoken words of Jesus, then attack me as if I am some terrible person for doing so. How can you then claim to be a minister of Christ, let alone a follower of Christ?
It is a primary function of the church to declare God’s Word in Scripture. If his Word makes you or me feel uncomfortable about our sin, the burden is on us to pursue holiness not the church to lessen God’s standard so that you or I or anyone else can feel good about ourselves while wallowing in our sin. Jesus did not come to make us feel good, or to affirm us as we are, he came to save us from our sin.
You have taken to a public forum, representing yourself as a minister of Christ while presenting a theology that contradicts the church that Jesus built. I expected more character from you than to merely cast insults because I had the audacity to present an opposing view, never mind that it is a soundly Biblical point of view.
Kazimierz Bem
11:24 pm on Saturday, March 2, 2013
The reason why neither I nor you quoted Scripture is simply because taking 2 or two sentences out of context is not Biblical exegesis - its Bible wrestling. There is nothing in Jesus' teachings about homosexuality - in fact the only time he refers to family values is when he prohibits divorce. Never once did I hear an evangelical group campaign for a ban of divorce to "protect marriage" - GLBTQ folk are way easier targets. I guess because as you say "God's Word makes you uncomfortable." As it should. But why take it our on the LGBTQ folk?
There were no insults in my post - I merely asked HOW EXACTLY did Jesus tell you we are not on the same page" (no response) and pointed out that simply because I differ from you, you chose to judge me - which clearly annoyed you.
In any case - peace to you. But we will hold a radically different view of what the Good News of Jesus Christ, the Evangelion or Gospel means and brings.
jaymike
3:31 pm on Sunday, March 3, 2013
There were no insults in your post? … Yah, right, homophobic (you still have not explained what you mean), intolerant (did not explain that either) and prejudiced (a claim with no basis). You also accused me of “despising” you. It seems apparent that you used those labels merely because I disagree with you.
If we hold “radically different” views of Jesus Christ, then at least one of us must be wrong. That is a matter that should inspire discussion. I was prepared to offer a thoughtful exchange supported by the Word of God. It is astounding that your response was to take offense that I quoted Jesus.
May I remind you, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (1 Timothy 3:16-17)
I initially commented because your original post suggests to me the Jesus you preach is not the Jesus of the Bible. You don’t have the option of picking and choosing the attributes you like (love and mercy) while discarding the attributes you dislike (judgment and wrath) and redefining sin as if you are in a cafeteria ordering only that which suits your taste.
The bottom line is this – you claim to be a Church of Christ yet you oppose the teachings of the very men who built the Church of Christ and have not offered any sound reasoning as to why certain teachings should be ignored, only insults to me for pointing out the disparity.
Kazimierz Bem
3:42 pm on Sunday, March 3, 2013
I think you know exactly what I mean by "homophobic" and "prejudiced" - and that's why you responded. Either way - peace of Christ to you & those you love.
Damon Michaels
10:06 am on Thursday, March 21, 2013
You're so off base "jaymike". No insults were thrown, and your questions were answered. Your "bible-wrestling" is *exactly* what turns people off, you're not taking this as a whole and instead pick-and-choose what you want.
And you wonder why people are so turned off to religion these days? It's you "jaymike", and the "it's your way or the highway" attitude you project.