Teaching Your Child to Overcome Bullies

Bullying can happen at school, on the playground, through text messages or on the web.

Whether it is a face-to-face confrontation, a message on a cell phone or an internet communication, bullying is a serious problem and can cause long term distress. From anxiety to social withdrawal to physical ailments, the repercussions of bullying can filter into all areas of a child’s life. There has been much talk about bullying, but the severity of the problem would surprise most. Half of principals report that bullying, name-calling or harassment of students is a very real problem at their school. And, according to the book “Bullies and Victims in Schools”:

  - 96 percent of children will be bullied at least once in their lifetime.

-46 percent of those children will suffer poor grades or will abstain from extra         curricular activities because of the bullying.

- 2 percent of those children will commit suicide because of the constant harassment from classmates.

These statistics are alarming and warrant action. Parents in Marlborough need to take them to heart and arm their children to properly handle a bullying situation should they encounter one. The first step, though, is to help protect your children from being bullied in the first place. The best way for parents to do this is by following these steps:

1. Maintaining open lines of communication: Talk to your children often, letting them know that you are always available to listen. Ask them about school and their friends, encouraging them to talk about any problems or concerns they may have. By validating their feelings, parents let their children know that they are there to help.
2. Instilling a strong sense of self-confidence: Children who have a well developed self-esteem are less likely to fall victim to bullies.
3. Building social skills: Fostering and developing your children’s friendships creates a sense of belonging and will provide opportunities and the desire to become involved in group activities such as sports, drama or art. Groups are much less likely to be targeted by bullies.
4. Teaching children how to speak up for themselves: By teaching a child to become his own advocate, parents provide him with the skills necessary to seek and talk to trusted adults should they feel uncomfortable, threatened or in danger.
5. Providing a safe environment for their children to play: Children should not be allowed to play in empty playgrounds or parks if they are unsupervised. Parents needs to know where their children are and with whom .
6. Monitoring computer use: By placing computers in the family living space     parents can  monitor what their children are doing on-line and children will be less likely to engage in unpleasant interactions or conversations.     Limiting internet use will reduce the chance that a problem might occur.

Bullying is frightening and humiliating and has the potential to literally destroy lives. It is a parent’s job to empower his children to combat the attacks of a bully while at the same time making sure that home is a place of refuge. 

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